dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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