so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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