I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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