summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
