I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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