Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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