You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
operation harelip BJ is a go
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
