you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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