His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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