It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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