Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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