Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
