I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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