Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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