its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
