i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
