He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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