This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
