Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize