kristin has been a bad kristin
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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