So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
