There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize