i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
