come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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