I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
