It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Do vagina's smell?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
