What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
