WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
