just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
