whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
