sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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