weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
