My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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