you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
