____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
