YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
