never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
