The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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