i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
