Me too!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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