He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
