Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
