No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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