spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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