I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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