so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
