I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
