I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
