Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
