isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
organizing the empties. That sober.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
