its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
