It's just like the Real World with babies
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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