After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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