Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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