Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.

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(251): View more from Alabama

How was last night?

(334): View more from Alabama

She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy

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(630): View more from Illinois

a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.

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(804): View more from Virginia

They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.

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(817): View more from Texas

I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .

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(716): View more from New York

I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.

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(512): View more from Texas

All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"

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