I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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