and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
