It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
