where does the pee come out of this thing
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
