love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
