ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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