I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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