i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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