He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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