i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
