i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
